(FYI--I tried to change the settings again so anyone can comment if they wish, including non-members.)

Confrontation--When Is It Necessary?

So when is it time to confront a person for what you perceive as something wrong in their actions or attitudes? I am frequently asked this question. Each person who has asked me this has had their own set of circumstances that are unique to their situation. I don't usually have a cut and dried answer because I never feel I know enough of the situation to tell someone what to do. Only the Holy Spirit can give you the wisdom to know what to say and when. 

As I remember how I have made these decisions in my own life in the past, I realize there are certain questions I ask myself and Bible verses that the Holy Spirit brings to mind that help me know what to do. I thought I would share my thought process with you in the form of a Bible study that you can do on your own. Answer the questions, look up the verses, and ask God for wisdom. You will find that the Holy Spirit will answer this prayer. You may be surprised with what conclusion you come to.

 

SHOULD I CONFRONT?

1) Do I consider myself better than this person? If so, the first thing I need to do is confess this sin and humble myself before God.

2) Do I genuinely love this person? If not, then I am not the one to do the confronting. I need to ask God to give me love for this person.

3) Is this person teachable, unteachable, or even worse, a mocker? It may not be of any benefit to offer this person a rebuke or counsel.

4) Does my mind keep going back to what I would like to tell this person? Write it down, share it with the Lord, set it aside, and if there is still a burden to confront this person in a week, then it is most likely the Holy Spirit and not just my emotions or monthly hormones. :)

5) Have I been praying for this person regularly? Am I confident that God has more capability of convicting this person than me? Perhaps I am to just pray and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting. I have found that often is the case and I don't need to ever say anything, especially in the case of my husband. (Love you honey!)

6) Would this person respond more if I offered encouraging words along with a confrontation or could it be possible that encouraging words alone could bring about a change? Some people are just waiting for affirmation and when they receive it, it begins to help them see themselves from God's perspective as His loved and valuable child who was created for a purpose.

***Reminder: Confrontations are done with humility keeping in mind that I myself need grace on a daily basis from a forgiving God. It helps to remind myself where I have been and possibly even bring up my own shortcomings to the one I am confronting so they realize I am not coming to them as the judge but as the one who has been asked to give a warning.

II Timothy 2:23-26
 ²³ Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. ²⁴ A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. ²⁵ Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. ²⁶ Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.

 Matthew 7:6

⁶ “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

Proverbs 9:8-10

 ⁸ So don’t bother correcting mockers;
      they will only hate you.
   But correct the wise,
      and they will love you.
 ⁹ Instruct the wise,
      and they will be even wiser.
   Teach the righteous,
      and they will learn even more.

Following are notes from a  sermon I found online about recognizing an unteachable spirit:

http://www.littlechapelbythelake.org/sermons/s070318.htm

Some other verses for you to consider when deciding when to confront someone:

Romans 12:3
Galatians 6:1
Colossians 1:28
II Thessalonians 3:15
I Timothy 4:1
Titus 3:10
Hebrew 3:13
I John 5:16 
I Peter 4:8


In the end, these are the verses that I pray for myself, asking God for wisdom:
Proverbs 10:19
Proverbs 15:23
Isaiah 50:4

James 1:5-6 ⁵ If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ⁶ But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

DEAR GOD...

Sometimes it is good to just write a dear God letter, kind of like what David did in the Psalms. This is mine for today. If you decide to write your own I would love to read it!

Dear God of the Universe, my Heavenly Father, I just want you to know how wonderful I think you are!

You are like royalty except more majestic than any kings or queens or ruling powers that  have ever ruled. If I were to meet such reigning powers today, I would be in awe of such a historical day in my life. I would try to get a picture of me with such famous people and get autographs that would hold value because they were written with the hand of a powerful person. I would hang on to every word that was spoken, especially the words spoken to me. And then I would journal everything about my encounter and tell all my friends and family about my day.

And yet I was in the presence of the Almighty God today because I know His Son Jesus personally. Did I shiver with excitement and anticipation? Did I realize Heavenly Royalty wanted to speak with me today? Did I listen for His words and write them down and tell everyone how incredible it was to commune with the God who created everything, who designed a sacrificial plan so that I could become a part of His family?

Or was the Famous One too familiar in my mind, as though I have known Him so long and well that surely He has nothing more to teach me. Or perhaps to me He was not familiar enough and I failed to realize that He is not just a Deity who makes news and rules the universe and has no idea of who I am.

That Someone with such great fame and notoriety should know me better than my mother or spouse, that Someone who spends each and every day keeping the earth in orbit and rescuing lives should even know my name, let alone my pain or joys or needs--it is mind numbing.

And yet I can dismiss His presence in my life so quickly, like a light switch that I can turn on or off or like the fading of the sun when storm clouds roll in.

Oh Famous One, I beg you to remind me continually to rejoice in who you are and what you have done, to teach me of the depth and width of your love, and to compel me to declare your fame loudly from the rooftops until the day you let me see your face. Don't let me turn off the light switch. Don't let the storm clouds shroud my view of you.

Dear God of the Universe, my Heavenly Father, I want you to know how wonderful I think you are!

Son of Hamas--book review/a must read!

My head is swimming with all kinds of thoughts and emotions right now. I just finished reading a book that moved me to my core. Possibly because of past experiences, but primarily because it was a bird's eye view of the hand of God at work in the middle of chaos. Knowing that God has a greater plan, hearing about how He orchestrates details in the lives of even those who do not believe in Him yet, is what gives me hope for all the mess I see in the world and the hatred and sin that I see affecting the lives of people around me.

I have known a couple of Muslims in my life. One was never able to accept the real Jesus as God. The other embraced Jesus as her savior so fiercely that it put my own faith to shame. The cost to a Muslim calling Jesus their God is greater than anyone else I know. Declaration of faith means a loss of all family connections forever. They are viewed as dead by their families. And for some it is a literal death sentence, because their religion calls for the death of those who deny the Muslim faith and Allah. For any Muslim even considering Christianity, they must think long and hard about how their lives will change should they believe. It is a frightening and serious decision, so you know that when they declare Jesus as Lord that they believe it with every ounce of their being. My heart aches for these people, and those that become Christ followers have my deepest admiration as heroes of the faith, for they know they will face persecution and possible martyrdom.

The book I read is called Son of Hamas by Mosab Hassan Yousef. He was a speaker at a recent youth conference I attended with my husband and sons. Mosab's father was one of the original founders of the terrorist group Hamas. His story challenged me to ask myself if I truly believe ALL the teachings of Jesus. Am I living as though I truly believe? It's message screamed through the pages asking me if I am 100% in or only half-heartedly and when it is convenient.

A story of mystery and confusion, this book tells how God pursues this man. He comes into contact with Christians who give him a Bible and as he reads it over the next 6 years, Jesus becomes alive to him in it's pages. The message of Jesus has an appeal that no other religion has offered. What challenges his thinking the most is when Jesus says we are to love our enemies. It is so contrary to the hatred he sees all around him that Mosab isn't even sure how to process this message, but he cries out, "God, the Creator, show me the truth. I'm confused. I'm lost. And I don't know which way to go." And God answers his prayer.

Since then he has declared his faith in Jesus publicly, he has been cut off from his family. He is a wanted man.  He has sought safety in the United States. He has plans to continue to reach his people with truth. His plans carry danger as he wishes to expose lies. There is no doubt in my mind that the evil one wants to eliminate him, but it is also very clear that God's hand of protection has been on him and will not allow his life to be taken until his work here on earth is done.  Please pray for this man as he continues to carry out God's work and as he grieves for his family and his people who are lost and blind.  He has been responsible for saving many lives, literally, but I believe God still wants to use him to save souls. He needs the prayers of his brothers and sisters in Christ to carry out what still needs to be done in these volatile times. If you are interested in listening to him, he has some amazing clips on  www.sonofhamas.com. The book is worth buying.

The Great Equalizer

Proverbs 8:13 I hate pride and arrogance.
Proverbs 11:2 Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 13:10 Pride leads to conflict.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.
Proverbs 29:23 Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.
Daniel 4:37 He is able to humble the proud.

Pride--it is the great equalizer. It is what makes the murderer and thief the same as the person who tells little white lies or the person who harbors bitterness and anger in their heart. It causes jealousy and arguments and breaks relationships and hurts parents and children and husbands and wives alike. And yet few recognize it for what it is. Not many people take time to examine the motives of their heart. Most want to play the victim and blame everything wrong in their lives on someone else.

You have most likely identified those times when pride in someone else's life has wounded you. Every sin committed has an element of pride in it. And the wounds given to you are not acceptable in God's sight. Those who have wounded you will one day be judged if they don't repent and accept Jesus' payment for their sin.

But I am asking you to examine your own heart and motives today. What part have you played in wounding, how has pride prevented you from restoring relationships? What has kept you from stretching out your hand to help another in need? I don't know that you can identify pride without asking yourself if you have a need for Jesus' forgiveness in your life today. And you can only discover that when you line yourself up against the holiness of God.

When you read Isaiah 6:1-8 you get a little glimpse into the holiness of God when Isaiah, a prophet of God, says, "It's all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven's Armies."

When Isaiah was allowed to see God in all his glory he was shaken to the core. He realized he deserved to be destroyed forever because he was so far from being sinless.

How is it that we get so cocky? What gives us any confidence at all that we deserve anything from God? We deserve nothing! The Bible says all our good works are as filthy rags to Him. And yet we turn around to our siblings and friends and parents and children and co-workers and even people within the church and want to act like we are better than them. How dare we look at ourselves as righteous! It is only if I have faith that Jesus' blood paid for my sin that God says He can look on me as righteous. He let His Son trade His perfection for my sinfulness.

Knowing this requires a humility that can only come from God as well. In our human flesh, pride continually tries to sneak back in and make us think we deserve something. Only in humility will God ever be able to use us for His glory. Only in humility can we forgive and work out differences. Only in humility can we extend love to another sinner that needs to be saved by this amazing grace.

Please, today, don't forget where you came from. Don't forget what you could have been had you not met grace in the face of Jesus Christ. Don't let pride prevent you from experiencing all the blessings God wants to shower on you.

*******************

Philippians 2:3-11

Don't be selfish: don't try to impress others. Be humble, THINKING OF OTHERS AS BETTER THAN YOURSELVES. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had:

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Wow! How can we sit in our little circle of Christian friends and be so content? Last weekend was the annual women's Christian Retreat Weekend. Dan and I look forward to CRWs more than any holiday because it is when we get to see God do life transformation right in front of our very eyes. I cannot describe to you the overwhelming feeling of awe, joy, celebration, tears and laughter that we experience.

Why would you EVER want to stay in your Christian bubble of Christian friends with supposedly perfect lives where no radical life change ever takes place? That is a stale, lukewarm lifestyle. No wonder the Bible says God would like to spit us out when we are complacent. Food that is bland, boring, without salt reminds me of diet food. Disgusting!!!

God wants to dine on worship from people who participate in making people thirsty for Him by how they love others! My worship is genuine, deep and from the heart when I watch him use me and all of my broken, imperfect friends to share the message of his love with other broken, lost, hurting people. I weep over the fact that He desires to use us to point others to Jesus. How unworthy I am. And how wonderful He is!

This is my challenge to anyone reading this. When my life and worship start to get stale I ask Him specifically to show me someone that is broken and lost that I can show love to and befriend and eventually tell about Jesus. He has never failed to answer this prayer, and the wonderful part is that many of these people have decided to follow Jesus!

Nothing in my life compares to the satisfaction this brings. God fills my heart to overflowing with a joy that I cannot even begin to describe. You must experience it for yourself. To know that a life has been rescued, to know that I will spend eternity with these dear friends because they now know and love Jesus as well is absolutely breath-taking!

So take the challenge. Start praying for just one and then act on the first opportunity He gives you and don't give up! Remember, the devil doesn't intend on giving in easily. It is going to take lots of prayer, sweat and tears on your part. The Bible says God will give you the desires of your heart, that means when your desires line up with His. I can guarantee that this is one desire that will line up with His and that He will fulfill. If you choose to take this challenge, I would love to hear the stories of what God is doing and how I can pray for you.

To partially steal a quote, "To eternity and beyond!"

Praying for Protection

Have you ever searched the Gospels and read the prayers Jesus prayed to His Father? There is so much to be learned when you stop and think about the things He prayed about. I am just focusing on one part of one of His prayers today because I have felt a heaviness for those who are hurting and broken or trapped. So I looked up one of Jesus' prayers to see what He prayed.

John 17: 15,20
"I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one...I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message."

Jesus knew protection was needed from Satan and his demons. His prayer included you and me, even though we were not alive at the time, when He said "for all who will ever believe". Can you imagine listening to Jesus pray for you--personally? He knew that you would come under the attack of the evil one. He knew that only God can protect you. And He is continuing to intercede for you in front of the Father. He knows you by name and your name has been uttered in front of the God of the universe by His Son Jesus Christ.

I think if I heard Jesus say my name and no other words I would be brought to tears like Mary at the tomb. Her eyes clouded by tears, she didn't recognize the man standing in front of her. She mistook him for a guard and asked, "Where have you taken my Lord" because the tomb was empty. And to her astonishment the voice that spoke to her was Jesus' voice. She knew it immediately even though He never identified himself. All He had to say was, "Mary".

Jesus is saying your name, perhaps even as I write this. He has been asking for your protection and continues to do so. He is your interceder and mediator. What comfort and security!

Who needs you to intercede for them today? Is it someone who knows Jesus well, but is facing a trial or temptation? Is it someone who still has not given Jesus ultimate control of their life? Pray for their protection from the evil one like Jesus did for you and me when he still walked on this earth. If Jesus felt it was important to pray about, then it needs to be important to us.

Needing Direction?

Thinking about Proverbs 3:5-6 today. Here it is in three different translations. I like to compare translations because sometimes there is a word that stands out and helps me understand the meaning of the verse better than another translation. Biblegateway.com is a great way to do comparisons.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New Living Translation)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
⁶ Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (King James Version)

⁵Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

⁶In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

I use these two verses probably more than any others when I start out my day or am at a crossroads on a decision. I have committed this one to memory, but we are also told to meditate on Scripture. That means breaking it down and practically applying it.

So this is how I break this one down.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

--Am I fully trusting God? Do I truly believe He is able to help me? Is there a piece of my heart that I am allowing to doubt God's power? If so, I need to confess it to Him. There is a verse in the New Testament where a man says to Jesus, "I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief." That is often my prayer. Doubts often creep in unnoticed until we take quiet time to examine our hearts and question ourselves. When we confess our doubts to Him, He is able to strengthen our trust in Him. So often we forget to ask Him for this.

Don't depend or lean on your own understanding

--Could my understanding of a situation be wrong? Might there be another viewpoint? Or could God know more than me about the situation? We are called to use discernment, but ultimately we should not be depending on our intelligence. God's ways are higher than ours. James says we can ask for wisdom and God will give it. Wisdom is different than intelligence. It can only come from God and is needed for us to make right decisions.

Seek His will in all you do
In all your ways submit to Him
In all thy ways acknowledge Him

--This was phrased a different way in each translation. All three encompass what God is asking us to do. Am I seeking His will, not my own? Am I willing to submit to that will in every area? Am I acknowledging Him? I like this word acknowledge. Many of us know what it's like to have someone we know walk past us and not recognize us. Some of us even know what it's like to be deliberately ignored. When someone won't even say hi to you or acknowledge your presence in the room it is hurtful, degrading and arrogant on the other person's part. When we do not acknowledge God with every step we take in life, that is what we are doing to Him. He wants to be noticed and given credit for the things that He does in our lives. We cannot expect Him to give direction if we are not willing to constantly acknowledge Him in everything we do in life.

And He will show you which path to take.
And He will make your paths straight.
And He shall direct thy paths.

--Here is the promise when you follow the first part of these verses: God will show you which path to take and it will be a straight path (although sometimes it feels crooked I think this means He will keep you from falling in the potholes). He will give you a direction to go. He might not show you the end of the road or tell you your destination. That is part of trusting Him. But He will show you the next step to take. It sometimes feels like what it must be like to be blind and have to trust a guide. You can't always see where you are placing your foot, but you are trusting the guide that he is pointing you in the right direction.

What is it that you need to acknowledge God in today? Have you verbally asked for His direction? You will be amazed at the path He will take you down. It could change your life forever.